running and God

original date - nov 2009

I thought I would update on my running. I have signed up to run a half Marathon on May 1st. I ran 3 miles today in 20 min. A very sick 3 miles. I have been sick for a few days. Blah. And it is still cold outside. But I am glad I ran cause I didnt do anything at all yesterday. Running constantly makes me think of my dad. He was a very avid runner before he had to have leg surgery. Then he was a casual runner. Then he started drinking more then running, stopped running, got sick and died. It makes me sad to run, but I know he would love it if he knew I was running.

I love God. I love my life and what it has become with Him as my rock. I want more then anything to help people facing addictions in their lives and to help them find God, embrace the Holy Spirit and feel the change that I have felt in my life. Sometimes things get hard, some times we want so badly to fall back into the sin and temptations that used to take over our lives. It always seems so much easier then to face reality. Especially facing reality sober, that is a hard one. I always think about it. Why dont I just quit trying to be strong and go back to the haze filled life that I used to leave. I was a good person, a fine mother, and a dedicated girlfriend still.

I dont know how to describe it. Choosing to wake up everyday and give my life to God just seems to be the most amazing rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. It is hard to battle the addictive tendencies that I long for, but man every time I stand in front of the Lord and worship his name it is just the most amazing fullness. It takes the holes that I have felt for so long, and filled with so many other things and fills it with the grace and the love of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Choosing God over yourself was one of the craziest things I thought that people did. I thought those people were self righteous and snotty, no matter who they are or where they came from. But I have learned that it is not self-righteousness (although there is that in the church unfortunately) it is the Holy Spirit and the righteousness in the Lord. And it has made my life amazing!