Today was my first run since being out of the hospital. Read about my Hospital stay if you would like. I got home last night around 530 and was exhausted. I thought I would be energized since I had just spent 4 days doing basically nothing physical. I even told my husband I wanted to go out that night just to be out, but when I walked into my house I went to my room,fell on the bed and didnt move a muscle for over an hour. My husband built this little cocoon with our blankets for me and went and made me dinner. Talk about an amazing man. We spent the night finishing the season of Grey's that we were watching and then went to Mejier and bought Christmas lights and too many little toys for Corbin. Again, another restful night.
I wanted to come home and run last night, but I didn't have the energy, so I laid low, so I went out today for a 5-skees and I was spent from the moment I hit the pavement. I thought I would be re-energized since whenever I take 3 days off I usually feel amazing and the bounce in my legs is in full swing. But not today.
When I cranked it up the hill for the first 1/2 mile of my run, my lungs felt tired. Not like the burning I thought I would get from not being in the cold for a few days, but just really tired. I lightened up my pace to compensate. I didn't want to burn out cause I NEEDED to run since I hadn't in 4 days, and I pushed on forward. As I came to the top of the road at my 2.5 mile turn around, I was beat. I really just wanted to sit down. I have gotten tired on runs many times, and I have had jello legs, lead legs, injured legs and blisters so big I had to run on my tip toes. I always make it through ok and I always tell myself 'You will be better tomorrow'.
But I had to stop and walk for a block and a half today. I NEVER stop and walk. I have shortened my runs before if I was experiencing symptoms of over training, turning back at 2 instead of going to 2.5 and things like that, but I never walk. The last time I walked was on my marathon and my knee was about to fall off my body. I walked for 2.5 miles, and felt like a failure the entire time. Its an ego blow to walk in my opinion.
As most runners will tell you, we have incredibly big egos. Too big, and I'm sure every runner has a story about when their overly big ego has gotten them into trouble. It's what we do and maybe one day we will learn. But maybe not. But its important to know your limits with running. (as it is with anything in life). Pushing through something, such as exhaustion, can have serious consequences if it catches up to you. Today, I honestly felt like if I wouldnt have stopped and walked it out for a minute, that my legs would either have given out on me, or not picked up high enough to make it over a step and I would have fallen. That would have resulted in an even larger bruised ego, and maybe a bruised face too boot.
Every day we want to run the best run of our life. We get in the habit of wanting to PR every day or pushing ourselves to knew physical limits. But we can't, and we won't. Sometimes we simply just have to run slow and contently, and sometimes we have to walk, and in 3 years I promise you this run wont matter in the scheme of things. But maybe it will have made you mentally stronger.
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