Yesterday was such a beautiful day. It's late September and the temperatures had dropped to a high of 65, but the sun was shining so bright it was comfortable in a t-shirt. The perfect kind of day. Abraham also had the day off of work and Corbin had the day off of school! I couldn't have been luckier. We had been thinking about teaching Corbin to ride his bike without training wheels for a while, he sure seemed ready to do so, but we didn't know if he was ready. With the perfection of yesterday, we decided to go to the park, and just give it a try with no higher expectations. Corbin definitely didn't seem too thrilled about the idea as he just wanted to play, not work, but we showed up at the park with a Gatorade, and that seemed to put him in a better mood. Bribery much?
So... how do you teach a 5 year old how to ride a bike? I mean, do you remember how you learned how to ride a bike? Because I sure don't, and I wasn't quite sure how I was going to approach teaching this attitude of a child how to ride his. So we came up with a list of rules like, if the bike isn't moving it won't balance, and it won't move unless you pedal, that was we could resort back to them when he got frustrated. Then we practiced, not moving, how to catch yourself with your feet. That seemed to be about all we could cover so we tried it out. It went well at first, I held onto the handle bars and we went up and down the path a few times to get the feel of things. On the third time I let go of the handle bar and was just holding onto the seat, so once I realized I was doing nothing for the kid I let go of the seat too and ran along with the bike. After about 5 seconds Corbin realized that wasn't holding on anymore and got really excited and scared and I got really excited and scared and he flew off into the dirt. Teaching a 5 year old how to ride a bike is like teaching him to fly. It was awesome.
The next hour went up and down. The hardest part was starting without me holding on, and if he didn't start well, he didn't go anywhere. If he did start well he made it all the way to the end of the path and seemed to stop ok. What impressed me the most was his determination. Corbin is a rather... frustrated child in my opinion. He gets mad easily when things don't go his way or he can't figure something out on his own and he would rather storm away angry then keep trying. As a parent, I find this one of the most important things to work on. His attitude towards life, and his willingness to follow through with a task at hand. I don't push him past a certain point, he is still young, but I never let him give up without trying. I'm sure it will pay off in the long run, or at least I pray it will.
So I have determined raising a little human being is much harder then raising a baby or a toddler. Even a 3 or 4 year old. Yes, that is very demanding in it's own way, but feeding, clothing, bathing, entertaining... it can all be done without real thought, just effort. Peas or carrots, pink or yellow, ect. Don't know what they want? Just do it all until they stop crying. But man, when that little guy grows up and turns into a person with real opinions and emotions and life lessons that need to be brought to the table, our ability to parent really comes to play.
How do I know what to do or not do, what to teach him or not teach him, when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Should I let him play with the boy a few doors down that "strongly suggests" Corbin gives his toys to him? How do I teach him who God is and what's the point of His love? Will I be able to wake up and get him to school on time with his lunch AND his backpack? How do I teach him to ride his bike with no training wheels and when he falls off and kicks it with anger and pouts in the grass do I yell at him to man up!, to get back on and try again, or do I sit there patiently waiting for his anger to pass and let him pick up his bike on his own and get back on. How do I know!!!!
I think a little bit of all of this happened yesterday, as it does most days. Sometimes I am very patient towards him and sometimes I'm very...well...not. I have held him when he cried for no reason but to be loved by his mommy and twice I have smacked him so hard I had to leave the room to cry because of it. I have failed many times at following through with promises, and stopped promising as much when he started remembering them and I have had some of the greatest experiences with just him and I. I have been broke more often then I have had money, unable to provide him with the things he wants, but have made up for it in time spent just talking to him and BEING with him, and doing nothing else but that. I have tried to provide him with a wealth of life knowledge, knowing I will never be able to help him with his math homework. (Really? X wants to do what now?)
And I have prayed for my child every day, because I have no idea what I am doing. No amount of parenting books can teach you how to deal with your child, because your child is different then any other child out there. Sometimes as parents we take a chance at something, like a child taking a chance at learning to ride his bike without training wheels, and when we succeed we feel like we are flying. And sometimes we take chances and we fall. Landing hard on the ground, sometimes bruising a knee and sometimes bruising an ego, (Mom, I this is so embarrassing when I fall!) and sometimes just falling in sh**. (Yep, that happened) But I guess the one thing we can always do right as a parent to any child in any situation is to hope for the best, shake off the worst, and never give up.
And when we were done, we all rode home together, and threw the training wheels in the trash.
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