Man I have been stressed out lately. I am 33 weeks pregnant. Only 7 more weeks to go! But that also means I have 7 WHOLE more weeks to go and that is making me very anxious. I have also stopped running. My last run was a few days after Christmas and it went horribly. Not that it was the first bad run I have ever had or anything, but things are starting to get more complicated then I can handle and it is becoming a hassle to get out and run right now. That, combined with the massive amount of snow on the ground and the fact that I can't find a decent path to run on I am taking a much unwanted, but probably needed break till post baby.
I have talked a lot about the chemical need to run in my blogs and how it regulates everything that goes on inside of me and as usual, I am sure that the lack of running that I have been doing is increasing my stress.
So today I got to get out for a walk. I debated weather or not to list all of the things in my brain that are making me mad, but the point of the walk is to not dwell on them, but to make peace with them. So how do we make peace with the things that are making us so angry?
And that is where God comes into play. I can't do anything without Him, and I realized this when I got baptized a few years back and started relying on Him instead of me. So to help out my anger, I took a walk with Him today.
What does that entail? Oh heck, I have no clue. I hear about prayer walks and I hear about listening (as opposed to talking) to God. I have never read any sort of rule book on the proper way to do this, and I am thinking that God probably isn't to hung up on formalities. So I went out, no music or nothing, and in a quiet place (as too many things can be distracting if too many things are around) and walked for 35 minutes.
It sounds simple enough right. Of course it does. But how often do you get out and just BE with God, ears open, mind closed, and ready to listen. I sure don't as much as I should. When I run, I normally run with headphones, and while I do a lot of thinking, I don't do a lot of listening.
It's not that easy to just listen. I found many times in that short period my mind going back to my problems and venting internally about them. My mind racing about problems there is no solution to at this point in my life.
And isn't that just about the most annoying thing you can do?
So I prayed to shut it off. And when I started thinking again, I prayed to shut it off again. And again.
And I prayed, not for God to fix the problems that I was having, but to fix me and my attitude about the problems that I was having. Cause life is hard, but it is up to me weather I choose to feel hard about it or not. And that is what God is really there for. Not to make our lives better, but to make us better people in spite of the difficulties we are dealing with.
Right??
Right.
And when I finished my walk, I had heard no clear cut voices, or signs from God, and I had figured nothing out. But the sun was shinning above and my mind as calm and sometimes that is life and we accept it.
But in all honesty, how could you ever be mad in life with these guys by your side. <3 p="p">
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