Why I'm glad I shared my S*** to the world

About a week ago I wrote a blog post called Maybe you know someone... It was a very personal post about the large struggle that I have been dealing with. It wasn't an easy post to write, and it was even harder to share it on a public forum such as Facebook. The post wasn't written in a moment of weakness or hysteria, although some may think so, and it was not a cry for help. It was, however, written with the purpose of asking for help, and that's okay.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for help and I don't think there is anything wrong with asking people I don't know for help. The world is so much broader then our inner circle, and most of the time, your inner circle is never going to be the one to help you in the long run. They may feel the most concern for you since they know you, but that doesn't obligate them to help. And that's okay too.

I knew posting something so personal and so public on the internet would reach people I didn't want it to reach. I knew that since my mothers joined Facebook my private life would be more visible and judged and things such as this post would be seen by both of them. I knew the conversations would be rough from all kinds of people and I would have to hear advice that I didn't want to hear. I understood the backlash that was going to happen. But I also know myself and my thoughts and my confidence in writing something so personal and so public. Being at peace with an action, weather dramatic or level headed, is the only thing you can do in life to make your journey easier. Peace and confidence in your decisions.

I knew when I posted what I posted that nothing dramatic would happen. Despite my desires for a home, I knew I would stay where I was. But a few things happened because I opened up my mouth. Or my browser actually.

I had some open conversations with my mothers, with my husband, and with myself. It allowed my mind to be taken out of the black hole that it has been stuck in and give me a kick in the rear to do something, anything, to change my situation despite my inability to actually change it. 

The serenity prayer has become very important to me.

And the WISDOM to know the difference.... That's a big one. 

I still feel the way I do since I wrote that last post. A little more open and exposed for sure, but because I feel more exposed I feel more at peace. More confident in finding the courage to change the things I can. I know I can't move out, it's just not an option, and I can't change that. But I CAN change how I deal with the situations that I am in inside where I live. 

We are not meant to live this life alone. Our communities are vast and endless if we open ourselves up to allowing them to be.